Tag Archives: life

A Fathers Journey

This has been my journey.

It never ceases to amaze me how often and how easy plans seem to change. On a trip to another country you get wrecked and feel the tugging of the Spirit telling to “GO” so you easily say “Yes.” Then for the next two years that’s all you prepare for; all of your focus is on getting back to that same place that you felt your heart melt for…that you felt your heart break for. Finally the day comes when you leave for that distant land with nothing but a blank canvas in front of you just waiting to be painted on by the Father, and oh does He paint. For three months you laugh, dance, sing, teach, travel, cry, climb mountains, hug, create, smell, and taste LIFE in all its glory. Then, after two years of planning, you leave that enchanting place and head back to the familiar.

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Once you get “home” your find out that God has once again changed “your” plans. He basically says, “Nope, you’ve done what I called you to do there, I want you here. I want you to be a FATHER…” You find out your beautiful wife is pregnant with your second child. Mixed emotions run through your head and you don’t know whether to be excited and joyful at the thought of having another child or broken hearted and sad that this means you cannot go back to that place that has your heart…maybe just maybe you choose a little of both.

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Coming to grips with the terms you embark on another challenge all on its own and learn a new set of skills that will eventually help and save people on their worst day. You learn a new set of skills that could possibly help change a community. You gain new friends and new brothers.

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Life is happening all around you but in the back of your mind you cannot, you will not, stop thinking about that far off land that has your heart. Those special people that endure things you can’t possibly imagine every single day. You’ve been placed outside of your comfort zone having to rely on others and on your heavenly Father for a living almost detesting every moment of it but knowing deep down inside that this is what it means to be a SON…Only sons can become true fathers because if a father was not first a son how then will he know what a father is?

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This has been my journey. I’ve been called to the HIGHEST calling…to be a Father. I hope that one day I might be able to go back to that place that has my heart buried in its soil next to those mountains. To go back and see the faces of all those children that are fatherless…I want to be a father.

This has been my journey.

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From Knowing to Knowing

I had always believed that “god” was real; that there was a being that was higher than me, who controlled the universe, and had bigger things to do than worry about what I was up to. There were a few times that a friend of mine took me to church and on the way home he and his mom tried to tell me how Jesus loved me and died for my sins. At that point all I wanted to do was argue that we evolved from space dust and that the universe was created from a giant explosion. As I look back on this now I have mixed emotions of sadness and pride. Sadness for how I just didn’t care what they were trying to tell me and pride for how I stood by what I believed so strongly.

When I was thirteen I was challenged to tell my brothers youth pastor everything I knew about God, Jesus, and the bible. I had heard and knew about the birth of Jesus because of Christmas; I had heard and knew about the death and resurrection of Jesus because of Easter; I knew the Gospel in a nutshell. I think every American knows at least this much just from being an American citizen. I knew the stories; I knew about God, Jesus, and the Gospel. But when being confronted with telling a youth pastor everything I thought I knew about God, I was faced with a terrifying realization. Even though I KNEW God and the main points, I didn’t KNOW God. I didn’t KNOW Jesus. All I had was knowledge; the stories and stats.

At this point it was obvious to Pastor Thomas and me that I needed to KNOW God and his son Jesus. Anyone can believe in God; even demons believe in God, but not everyone KNOWS God. You can know Michael Jordan’s stats, the stories of his amazing games, and everything there is to know about his career…but do you really KNOW him? I realized it was the same with me and God. Right there I asked Jesus to allow me to live for him, I received forgiveness for my sins and now I am living in victory and peace knowing that I am living for a purpose.

I have a beautiful wife, adorable daughter, and am about to go on the biggest adventure of my life. I have been all around the world and seen the poorest of the poor and the richest of the rich. I have been able to minister to prisoners, hospital patients, and orphans. I have smuggled bibles to people that have no access to the Word, and sent food to people fleeing war torn areas. All of this would have been in vain if I had not given my life to Jesus. It’s because of Him that I am alive. It’s because of Him that I am free. It’s because of Him that I have purpose.
It’s because of Him.

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It’s About The Small Things

So, I don’t have anything super awesomely “spiritual” to say in this blog. I know it’s been almost two months since we last updated and for those of you that are still reading I’m sending out a high five in your honor. Thank you!
As for the past two months Anna and I have been busy with worship leading at First AG in Gladewater. I have also had the opportunity to preach a week ago and am currently getting ready to preach this Wednesday and Sunday evening. While I was at CFNI one of my professors prophesied that God would put me in leadership very quickly, I had no idea that it would be where we are at. It’s pretty funny when you get a word like, “…you will be in a line like this one, only instead of being prayed for you will be the one praying for others…you will be places in leadership very quickly…” because if your mind works anything like mine you automatically think of something HUGE. Like being in leadership at a church of 3,000 people or leading a crusade and seeing an entire city turn to Jesus OR being the first family to pioneer a colony on the moon…or not. I have found that although big things like this take place too many people it’s because they have been given responsibility in the small things and have shown faithfulness in those small things.
God has given Anna and I many “small” things lately and I believe it is to get us ready for the “big” things He will be having us do one day. I want a large family so that we can take over the world but if I can’t take care of and raise one child the way that I need to and know I should then why should God bless us with more children? I pray that God would see me as faithful in the small things.
In other news, I ate WAY too much food for Thanksgiving…

In Him,
Kolby

Who Am I?

Lying on a bamboo floor; a thatch roof above me, chickens and rooster below me, I could hear the soft patter of the rain on the dried leaves, and the slow rumble of the thunder in the distance. The candle we had lit that evening was causing shadows to jump and dance on the walls around me. Lying there under my mosquito net I lay thinking of the previous day; a day full of travel up, around, and down mountains, jokes Leslie and Jillian told in the van, seeing the children run up and down the dirt road as we pulled up, putting on a puppet show and feeling like my arm was going to fall off at the shoulder (you don’t know what a real workout is until you try operating puppet for 10 minutes), making a piñata and seeing the kids faces as candy fell from it, and all of the joyful smiles and laughter not just from the children but from the adults. I remember playing follow the leader with a group of boys and somehow (it always comes to this in some way) ended up throwing the boys into the air and by the time I felt my arms could take no more, got tackled and piled on by all them. All of the laughing, laughing, laughing.

Who am I? Who am I to get to bring joy to the hurting, depressed, and lonely? Who am I to get to bring the love of Jesus to those who have never heard His name? Who am I to hold the hand and love on a baby that will never know his/her earthly father? Who am I to lead a man to Jesus while his wife is dying in the hospital bed next to us? Who am I to pray for the sick and see them healed? Who am I?!

All of these thoughts racing through my mind as I lay there on the floor and God decided to speak to my heart. He didn’t say much, but it was enough to pierce my heart to its core, to change the course of my life…again. He said five simple yet profound words, “This is where you belong…”

I couldn’t help it… I smiled.

-Kolby

In The Shadow

Sometimes in life everything seems completely, utterly, and totally impossible. Your circumstances seem to be like a thick black blanket surrounding you, suffocating you from catching a single breath. You cant seem to find the light at the end of that seemingly never ending tunnel. Its in these times that I always think of the countless stories in the Word where God’s people found themselves in impossible situations. The odds stacked up and with no way out the only place they could turn was Father God. So many times King David was surrounded by his enemies, at one point hiding in a cave, and every time God gave David a way to prevail. He (God) never left David hanging and always came to his rescue. In all circumstances David also knew who could save him, he never tried out of his own wit to get himself out of a bind. In ALL circumstances acknowledge the One who can bring you out of the darkness and give you a way to victory.

Never forget…

Psalm 91 (MSG)

You who sit down in the High God’s presence,
    spend the night in Shaddai’s shadow,
Say this: “God, you’re my refuge.
    I trust in you and I’m safe!”
That’s right—he rescues you from hidden traps,
    shields you from deadly hazards.
His huge outstretched arms protect you—
    under them you’re perfectly safe;
    his arms fend off all harm.
Fear nothing—not wild wolves in the night,
    not flying arrows in the day,
Not disease that prowls through the darkness,
    not disaster that erupts at high noon.
Even though others succumb all around,
    drop like flies right and left,
    no harm will even graze you.
You’ll stand untouched, watch it all from a distance,
    watch the wicked turn into corpses.
Yes, because God’s your refuge,
    the High God your very own home,
Evil can’t get close to you,
    harm can’t get through the door.
He ordered his angels
    to guard you wherever you go.
If you stumble, they’ll catch you;
    their job is to keep you from falling.
You’ll walk unharmed among lions and snakes,
    and kick young lions and serpents from the path.

14-16 “If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God,
    “I’ll get you out of any trouble.
I’ll give you the best of care
    if you’ll only get to know and trust me.
Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times;
    I’ll rescue you, then throw you a party.
I’ll give you a long life,
    give you a long drink of salvation!”